#285
I gazed at the misty window glass, its surface reflecting the dim clouds beyond, with no particular meaning. The content of the ongoing class didn’t register in my mind at all. Instead, it served as background noise, like BGM to support my thoughts.
The most critical duty of a student and something most students despise. It’s a contradiction, and its necessity for the future remains unclear, but students obediently transcribe the notes written on the board into their own notebooks.
The exceptions are students who prioritize extracurricular activities over class work, such as those in sports clubs, pouring their passion into sports, or those who spend their free time and after-school hours creating memories with friends, engaging in what they call youth activities.
They are either resting their heads on the desks, sneaking glances at their smartphones, whispering to their classmates, or doing some combination of these. I seem to be the only one in this classroom who gazes out of the window, finding the world beyond boring.
However, this boredom, from my vantage point near the window, may be a privilege only some students in this classroom know, as it provides the ideal environment for deep thinking.
I have been thinking about this for a long time. Now, faced with reality, I’m rushing to make a decision.
Whom to choose or not to choose, or perhaps whom I cannot choose.
In any case, it was clear that I needed to express my own intentions.
Ever since it was confirmed that Shizuku and Kirasaka had chosen the same university, a single word from me could sway their decisions.
It should be easy if I just consider their choice to be their will, and I choose my desired path. For Shinra Minato, making such a decision would not be unnatural; in a way, it would be expected.
I suddenly realized that I was thinking about Shinra Minato, my own choice, as if it were someone else’s matter. I couldn’t help but smile. Why am I objectively contemplating my own decisions?
“Have you come up with something fun? Or are you deluding yourself into thinking I look cool gazing out of the window? If that’s the case, look at your own reflection in the window and regain your composure.”
“I feel like I’ve been suddenly attacked…”
“Could it be the arrow of love?”
“More like a poison arrow.”
I received an unexpected attack in an unexpected direction and let out a deeper sigh. I’d like an explanation as to why she mentioned the arrow of love after saying that. However, since it’ll be too plain, so I’ll ask in a 5-7-5 haiku format.
< Yea, just Japanese stuff, don’t bother. Smth like a poem is the basic definition. >
Setting aside the thoughts that had crossed my mind for a moment, I turned my gaze to the person next to me. Kirasaka rested both elbows on her desk, her palms pressed together, and gazed in my direction.
Her lips curved upwards, and her eyes, instead of their usual sharpness, had a gentle feel about them. As our eyes met during the dull class, she shone ever so slightly, as if she’d found a delightful way to pass the time in between.
“You’re still pondering your future, aren’t you?”
“…In fact, I’d say few people aren’t pondering it.”
Everyone has some sort of concern deep within themselves, whether it’s related to financial issues, relationships, or the direction of their future. It’s just that the reasons for these concerns differ.
Abandoning the act of pondering or considering is easy. If you choose a path that matches your academic abilities or relationships, you can advance to your next stage without worrying about complicated thoughts. Regrets that lie ahead are events in the somewhat distant future, like the characters on a page.
If you’re only interested in enjoying your current life, that too can be considered one choice.
“If I make a mistake, there are people who will be affected.”
“You should keep moving forward on the path you’ve chosen as you always have… Both she and I are simply pursuing your back.”
“…”
Saying so, Kirasaka directed her gaze towards the front of the classroom. In her line of sight, Shizuku was diligently copying down the contents of the lesson written on the blackboard into her notebook.
She worked silently, then seemed to notice something as she glanced around, finally realizing the presence of the two of us at the edge of the classroom. She opened her eyes slightly in surprise and quickly ran her fingers through her hair, adjusted her hairstyle, and then smiled, waving to me from her chest.
…How did she notice? Could it be that she’s sensitive to being watched?
Her waving motion seemed to be misunderstood by several male students, who turned back with embarrassed expressions. It was surreal that this was all plainly visible from behind.
If I turned back now, she around me would probably perceive it in the same way… But I couldn’t just ignore her. So, I gestured slightly which lightened her expressions as she poked the shoulder of the student sitting in front of her. Yuuto, who was sitting in front of Shizuku, looked back to see what was going on, to which he saw Shizuku pointing towards our direction, which was, well, where Kirasaka and I were sitting. In response, he waved in the same way.
The chain of misunderstandings repeated again, this time with several female students turning back, their faces flushed, in response to Yuuto waving his hand.
“…”
“…”
What started as a serious conversation had now turned the left half of the classroom into a sea of blushing students. I wondered how to regain control of the chaotic classroom.
Kirasaka, with her cold and emotionless gaze, looked at the two before turning her face as if nothing had happened.
Perhaps it was the optimal choice to avoid further complicating this situation into something more troublesome. I followed Kirasaka’s lead and a surprised voice from a male student near the front of the classroom saying, “Huh!?” seemed to echo, but I decided to act as if I hadn’t heard it.
“We’re not trying to impose our ideals on you or hold you responsible. If my words don’t give you confidence, you can ask her. Besides…”
“…Don’t stop at a place that piques my curiosity.”
She halted her words and covered her mouth, pausing for a moment. It was as if she was really worried about saying something she shouldn’t. I couldn’t help but wonder what it was that she had refrained from saying.
When I encouraged her to speak the words she had held back, and with an apologetic expression and a somewhat darkened demeanour, she finally spoke.
“Shinra-kun, your grades aren’t good enough for you to choose a university.”
“…”
I… Well, yeah, that’s true.
I felt like I should take responsibility for their future, too. I’ve considered multiple times over the past few days that making a single mistake in my choice could lead both of them to diverge from the path they should have taken in the future.
But before even thinking about Kirasaka and Shizuku’s future, the fact is that I don’t have many university options. The words they conveyed were a powerful truth that had the ability to halt my thoughts.
At that moment, the school bell rang, signalling the end of the class. The teacher briefly explained the next class, and the students all got up from their seats to enjoy a brief break.
Shizuku and Yuuto also stood up, exchanged words with a few students, and then approached the window-side seats.
“What were you talking about during class?”
Shizuku inquired right away. At this very moment, I had just received a major blow, so I was slumping over my desk in a state of dejection. Kirasaka explained the situation in my place.
“Hmm, I see.” Shizuku nodded, and Yuuto occasionally chuckled with a smirk on his face, glancing in my direction.
His reaction was very irritating. I knew that he’d react this way, so I didn’t say anything and just buried my face in the desk.
“Minato, you seemed to have forgotten a crucial point.”
“That’s right, Minato-kun! Kirasaka-san and I said we’d follow you, taking into account the university you can get into!”
“Hehe…”
Even with my face buried in the desk, I could sense the expressions of the three of them. They always ranked at the top of the class in every subject on our regular tests, while I was somewhere in the middle of the class.
I didn’t forget about the difference in our academic abilities, but it’s undeniable that I had distanced myself from deep thinking.
With a voice squeezed out from the depths of my throat, I addressed each of them.
“Just leave me alone today.”
<BBX> : Still not fully well, but here you go.
BrutalBot Tl 