#315
“I’ll head to the school right away.”
That was all President said over the phone. Without asking where to meet or what I wanted to talk about, she readily agreed and ended the call.
Where should we meet?
If President is coming to the school, it’s better to choose a calm place for our conversation. But the student council room is still in use for today’s activities.
Actually, I forgot to ask how far it is from President’s house to here. The whole talk went smoother than I imagined, and I forgot to ask.
I tried to recall, to remember. Where did I first meet President?
It wasn’t in the student council room; I remember being scolded by President while having a dispute with Hino-kun early in the morning.
It’s not that I’m trying to kill time, but my feet naturally take me there. Not a place to call a memory lane, but a place of encounter. I arrived at the stairs in front of the school’s back gate and sit down to wait.
It’s still cold to call it spring, and the wind is chilly.
I watched the students running around the schoolyard in their long-sleeved jerseys and practice uniforms.
As I watch, lost in thought, I notice ants crawling on the sand.
I wanted to use this time to think, but it feels like this meaningless time is loosening the tangled threads in my mind, giving me a slight sense of relief.
How many ants did I count?
I should only be hearing the sounds of club activities, but now I can hear footsteps on gravel nearby.
They’re not the light steps of a male student.
Moreover, it’s not common for students to come from the residential area at this time.
So, with confidence, I look up and see the chestnut-haired senior smiling as usual and heading towards me.
“Hey Shinra, sorry to keep you waiting.”
“I’m the one who called you, so don’t worry about it, President. Sorry for bothering you on a non-working day.”
President, Hiiragi Akane, whom I called, is standing there in her uniform, although she doesn’t have any baggage.
After exchanging necessary words as soon as we met, she smiled faintly and I quietly began to explain the reason for the summoning and the current situation.
“I see. I understand why you hesitated to ask me what you wanted to know and why you, who should be the one to send off, reached out to me. So, I promise to answer any questions you have.”
“Thank you–“
“But, even if you didn’t ask me, you should be capable of handling everything for the ceremony. I agreed to your invitation with a purpose… I prioritize removing the burden you have here.”
I bow my head slightly to President, who willingly listens to my consultation, and she takes a step towards me, poking my chest with her slender fingers.
The meaning of her words didn’t immediately register in my mind, and I couldn’t help but ask.
“A burden?”
“Why don’t you ask Rei and Kanazaki for help?”
Hearing my words, President takes a small breath and speaks.
Her chestnut hair sways in the wind, and her expression remains soft, but her eyes are serious, not allowing any lies.
“…”
“Dragging Hino into this, relying on Shiraishi’s cooperation, inviting Nakayama. Shouichi and the others can’t fully help due to student council activities. In this situation, who would you trust the most, who would be willing to cooperate without any pretense… It’s those two.”
President standing in front of me walks a few steps to the left and then to the right, expressing her views as if solving a puzzle.
The answer she arrives at floats into my mind. The figures of the two girls, looking at me with sadness in their eyes.
“If you haven’t included them, then why? There’s only one reason that comes to mind.”
President’s question, from her perspective, is a natural one, and she states it calmly without expecting an answer from me.
Raising her finger, she stops her steps and looks into my eyes.
“Because you’ve been pushing them away.”
“Why would you think that, President?”
Whether she’s aiming to be a great detective or I’m just too easy to read in my expressions and gestures, it’s probably the latter.
I have no excuses or reasons.
If someone arrived at the same conclusion as President, they would likely share the same impression. However, I just want to hear why President thinks that way, for reference.
When I ask, President smiles proudly and eloquently speaks.
“It goes without saying about your troublesome little sister, and I’ve come to understand Kanazaki’s situation as well. They probably offered to help you, and you refused to take their hand.”
“…”
Her expression was full of compassion, as if she were talking about her own sister. However, as her words progress, her tone becomes sadder.
As if thinking from the same position, her eyes show a sadness that can be sensed.
“Many students probably see you as an incomprehensible loner, with sharp words and a stubborn nature, an outsider in a group lacking in cooperation. But, that’s just superficial information.”
The president’s fingertip touches my cheek. I can feel her warm body temperature, and her little gesture tickled me.
Why do these people appreciate me?
Why do they have goodwill towards me?
“You’re a kind person.”
Those words, among all the words I’ve heard, are the kindest, dazzling, making me want to avert my eyes.
But the hand resting against my cheek won’t allow it. As if peeling off one layer of the wall in my heart at a time, President continues to speak.
“Why didn’t you participate in the ballgame tournament? If you had participated, Ogiwara Yuuto would have been with you, and others wouldn’t have viewed it kindly. Why did you raise objections during the night of the school trip when many students were enjoying themselves? It was because others didn’t respect Kanazaki Shizuka’s feelings. Why didn’t you treat Kirasaka Rei, who was labelled as special, specially? It was because you knew that special didn’t mean she didn’t put in effort.”
Stop it…stop it.
Please don’t look at me with such kind eyes.
“You’ve heard the phrase ‘the struggles of a genius,’ haven’t you? Surely, it’s a torment that only the gifted can understand, one that those around them cannot comprehend. Because people protect their own existence before others.”
President keeps talking. My face is reflected in her eyes, captivating.
Don’t affirm it, deny it.
It would be easier if she just insulted me, saying that I’m just a worthless person who hurts others. If I were affirmed as I have been until now, my current actions, trying to change for them, would be denied.
If that were to happen, I would lose my way.
To not hurt Shizuku, Kirasaka, Yuuto and the others, I have to change.
I want to continue being with them.
It may be inappropriate for me to be in that place, and I understand that it’s an ambitious desire.
But I know that I’ve come to cherish it. Still, to be there with them, I have to change, even if it means bending myself.
Even if I’m not understood, even if I’m ridiculed, even if I’m pierced by words like sharp blades, it’s okay.
If it’s not directed towards others, I can endure it.
“Fearing the hurt to one’s own existence, playing a role in the appropriate position, seeking a suitable position even for special individuals. That’s a part of the struggle. Not realizing that is part of the torment. People protect their own existence before others.”
That’s right…
Even so, Shizuku and the others chose to spend time with me.
So, to prevent them from being talked about behind their backs because of me, I have to update the evaluations of those around me.
“…That’s why I joined the executive committee this time to—”
“Do you really not realize it? The step you’re trying to take is stepping into the group mentality you hated.”
President’s stern voice shuts me up.
I couldn’t retort, and my eyes wavered.
…I’ve realized that since I started this activity.
Still, I didn’t mind, because I interpreted that all I needed to do was bend my insignificant pride. The insignificant pride of a teenage high school boy and the unconscious malice from the group.
There’s no need to even consider which one to choose.
As I try to squeeze out my voice from my choked throat, President adds on.
“Or… were they telling yourself that you should bend yourself even if it means raising others’ evaluations of you?”
“That’s…”
The tone was cold, and if I had nodded, I couldn’t imagine what President would have said to those two.
President’s confirmation seemed to be based on the conviction that those two would never say such a thing to me.
Then, what exactly can I do for everyone?
I can’t teach them anything.
I can’t give them anything.
They are always ahead of me.
All I can do is chase after them.
“I’m fully occupied just by not letting go of your cheek now. Even if asked to do something else, I wouldn’t be able to. No matter what anyone says, that’s my limit. How much are you trying to carry in those hands of yours?”
My gaze, lowered at those words, meets the eyes of the person in front of me as if bounced back.
Again, President smiles, her chestnut-colored hair illuminated by the evening sun.
How many people, including myself, thought that President could have much more?
But this time is different from when she acted as the leader of the students.
Now, she’s just a girl who’s only one year older.
Was it her true feelings that President hadn’t let out until now?
I look down at my own hands, spoken to.
I’ve never been good at multitasking.
I don’t have the knack for handling multiple tasks simultaneously.
Yet now, I’m reaching out to the Student Council, the Executive Committee, and even my own circle of friends. I’m trying to create something better than the past evaluations.
Even if I try to hold it all, it spills over.
Is it okay if it spills over?
No, none of it should spill over.
Small, white hands wrap around my hands that are trying to carry an amount that shouldn’t be carried.
“I wish I could be the first to support you… But I’m leaving this school, I can’t do that. However, you can rely on the people who understand you and offer you a helping hand. You don’t have to protect them alone; they are strong girls.”
The hand offered is firm, but it trembles slightly.
I squeeze back with just a little force, and I think.
Why do these people trust me so much? Even if there were parental arrangements, we could become strangers after graduation.
“…Why–“
“For us, Shinra Minato has long been a special person.”
If I said it like this, Rei might get angry, President says with a wry smile.
Special…
Have they always heard this word with such feelings?
No, that’s not it.
It’s a different kind of special from what they’re usually told.
Words spoken in a life far from extraordinary, where walking the path of ordinary is distant.
Simple, unadorned words resonate in the depths of my heart.
BrutalBot Tl 
It’s chapter 315 and the author tackles the most crucial point of this story without much buildup, lol
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